Why do we only do resolutions on New Years? I mean… I get it’s significant but, other days are too. I tend to not love going with the crowd (I know y’all are shocked to hear that) so there is something so… almost cliche about new years resolutions. Everyone going to a gym for a month. Coupons and sales everywhere for Slim Fast and vitamins. I get it’s a fresh start. But every day is a fresh start. Every.. any moment… I can make a fresh start. Decide something is no longer going to bother me. Affirm that I am going to make a change. The opportunities are endless, every day. I personally have always preferred the idea of celebrating MY new year, with birthday resolutions and goals. Maybe I’m self centered but, deciding how I want the next year of my life to be, always felt more… intimate than jumping into a habit at the start of everyone’s year.
That ramble being said… I’m kicking around the idea of a 4th of July resolution. What do I want to free myself of? What do I want to allow myself to be free to do?
I want to free myself of unnecessary worry. I am not gonna go all crazy and be like.. Imma not worry about anything. That’s not real life. I will worry about paying bills on time, getting enough sleep, self-improvement, shit that matters. What I will not worry about will be things like the wrinkles on my forehead. The cellulite on the back of my thighs. My eyebrows being perfect all the time. I want to worry more about the beauty of my soul than my face. The world is ugly right now in so many ways and it needs compassion and kindness. My waistline is not the bottom line to my worth as a person.
I will not worry about people who repeatedly show they do not worry about me. I understand people being busy. I do not demand being a priority in many peoples lives, I truly don’t. But I am freeing myself from the silly worry of… will this guy text me back… will that guy swipe right… would I get a good morning message from him if I were twenty pounds lighter. Why is that girl randomly talking shit about me, when I know I handled myself correct. I declare myself free from unnecessary social bullshit.
I want to allow myself the freedom to dive in… full head, full heart, full ass. 😉 I want to not be afraid of all the what ifs. I want to be free to fucking go for it, whether it’s a new job, a new hobby, a new relationship. I want to feel free to fully embrace all the weird and wonderful opportunities I am continually granted. I am free to live and love and fuck up and learn and move on. I am freeing myself from past trauma that I sometimes feel chained to. I am allowing myself the freedom to scrape the scraps of shit I’ve been dealt this past year off my plate, into the trash. Fuck it.. I allow myself the freedom to throw away the whole fucking set of china, to fully remove any binding influence that part of my life still has. I am freeing myself from those past hurts and pains. They no longer serve me, at all.
Also, let’s get weird… er… let’s get weirder for a moment. It’s a full fucking moon, y’all. So.. let’s talk about transformation, inspired of course, by werewolves. I am free to change, to transform, to move and shake and be fire one day and storm clouds the next. I allow myself the freedom to be unpredictable, because as this year has shown us, things can change in a single moment, on a real, global level. I am free to adapt and revise myself, daily.. hourly, if need be. I am freeing myself from the weight of other peoples expectations of who and what and how I am supposed to be.
Land of the free, home of the brave…. I encourage you to be both.