Do y’all know Robin Sharma? Crazy popular author in the self help world… like.. millions of books sold. I mostly like what he does. I found this on pinterest so, it may not be the most accurate (I’m honestly kinda guessing at his bit, to help me get to mine…). I think he was asked, or decided, to offer his best 2 word advice. And he said “Start now”. How freaking powerful right? Don’t wait til Monday to start that diet. Don’t wait til summer to take a vacation. Don’t wait for the scale to show a certain number before you love yourself. Whatever it may be… start now. I love that.
But.. I have my own thoughts. (I know y’all will find that hard to believe…)
So, my 2 word advice is “Show up”.
Just… show up. Just be there. Be present.
I had an incident with a semi-friend. He was performing and it was lackluster as fuck. Not because he’s bad. He’s actually pretty freaking brilliant. And good looking. And crazy fucking talented. But his head and his heart weren’t there. He started. He played a whole set. But he didn’t show up for it. It was a day or two after his show that I saw a quote, “Show up, even when no one applauds.” Yes. So much yes. Clap for yourself, that’s okay. But show up.
I was out the other night and a pal of mine was just sour. Pissy. Moody. Brooding. I went over. “Anything I can do? Want to talk? Let me rub your shoulders..” And he was having none of it. I’m not easily deterred though so I sat there beside him. Didn’t say anything. Pretty sure I was messing around on my phone. I made a point of having physical contact with him. Nothing over the top or aggressive, just my knee touching his under the table. And we sat like that. Other people came up, tried to talk to him, tried to make him better. They started now. They were active in their pursuit. I simply showed up, and I stayed. I got a message from him hours later thanking me for being there. I literally did nothing. I just was present. He didn’t feel obligated to say anything, or explain or problem solve or… he was able to sit, have support and just be.
While I’m glad I was able to comfort my friend, I selfishly am so glad I was able to learn from that. I’m a fixer. Bad day? Let me buy you food or drink or give you a hug or pull a tarot card or… I will come up with a million things I can start doing to “help” you. And sometimes that works. Sometimes we do need to take more active steps. But sometimes it’s the more quiet, almost passive, things; sometimes it’s the simply showing up and allowing the moment to be what it is, that does the most good.
And if “show up” or “start now” don’t work for you…