Guys. Woof. Please note, I realize I’m gonna be making sweeping generalizations about an entire gender. I get it. I do know so many amazing, kind, respectful, courteous, sweet guys. (I’ll get more into that soon). So, when I’m saying, “men do blah blah blah…” I know not every guy. Disclaimer done.
So, guys…. woof…. in the past week, but amping up considerably in the past 48 hours, the amount of bad male behavior I’ve experienced is… yuck. Between a “friend” basically assuming I would literally whore myself out to him for some drinks, to the 5 pounds I’ve gained being really uncomfortably thoroughly discussed in the middle of the hallway here at the office just… so.much.yuck.
And this behavior was so bad that I then, I guess out of… seeking balance or something, I started sending “thank you” messages to guys who are my actual friends, who don’t do those kinds of things. I say thank you a lot. I believe gratitude is such an amazing thing, so I really try to always be expressing my appreciation. But I was talking to my girl at work ( hey girl hey! =) ) about it and she flat out said, “Uh, you shouldn’t have to thank guys for being decent human beings.” OH SHIT Y’ALL, she’s fucking right. And it was such a simple statement but… crap. Like.. here I am singing the praises of men who are just behaving like they should, when I instead maybe need to re-focus on educating men who behave the other way. I don’t think I can change the world. Honestly, I don’t even think I can change anyones mind. But I do think there is something wicked powerful about empowering myself to the point where I can stand up and say, “Don’t talk to me, or about me, that way.” Best case scenario, maybe I do make a man (or woman, if she’s behaving incorrectly, bad behavior does exist both ways, I just personally felt it more from men recently) stop and think, and maybe next time he doesn’t comment on a persons body, or proposition her or.. Worst case scenario that person doesn’t give a fuck but I still get better at standing firm in my self respect, and self love, by honoring myself, which is still a pretty fucking kick ass scenario so…
Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself. I sadly didn’t in those two instances and it kind of wrecked my mood for a while. I did however address some… things another friend had done that made me uncomfortable, and I got what I believe to be a genuine apology and a chance for he and I to become better friends for having worked through the misunderstanding. I’d rather be known as the woman who didn’t take shit from anyone, even if it made the other person uncomfortable (note: not preaching being an unreasonably aggressive bitch here, this isn’t about being combative, repaying bad behavior with more bad behavior is super counter productive), than the woman who allowed others to rob her of power, by allowing others to make comments that ruin entire days.
Don’t offer to buy drinks for sexual favors. Don’t comment on somebody elses body. Don’t tolerate anyone doing either of those things to you. Be strong, be proud, behave.