I have a link to here on my Tinder profile. I know that is where most of my traffic comes from. (Hey Tinder peeps!). So let’s talk about Tinder.
If you were directed here, from there, you’ve seen my profile. Give me just a sec though to recap for anyone else. I have my profile so finely crafted. It’s been perfected over the time I’ve been in Tinderland. It is one of the best filtering mechanisms ever, truly.
(“There is no such thing as conversation. It is an illusion. There are intersecting monologues, that is all”
Let’s intersect each others monologues…
Looking to chat, to pass the time. Truly that’s it. If you’re looking for more, pass me by.)
So, pretty definitely clearly not looking for a hook up, or dick pics, or a boyfriend. It’s good. I have a female friend who is also on Tinder. Her profile is more of… “I don’t know what I’m looking for, I’m open to possibilities.” Which is great. It’s also probably why she’s had half a dozen men start conversations with her with the great greeting of, “Anal?” (Guys… that’s not an opener. You gotta work up to that, both verbally and physically, just sayin’).
So, you know the whole symbolism of the lotus? The story basic white girls tell when they get that tattoo? (No judgement, I just spend $1000 covering up a tattoo so, there is nothing but love in that observation). The lotus blooms from mud. It’s not in some neat, well manicured lawn in the suburbs. It is like… “Here is some fucking disgusting muck, and I’m gonna mother fucking bloom.” And this is much like my Tinder experience.
I think I’m lucky. I think my profile is helpful. I don’t know. I still have a few guys who try to do something they maybe shouldn’t, but I also have amazing people who start conversations with me by asking about what I think the meaning of life is. My friend, who’s greeted with, “Anal?”… she’s still growing through the mud, I think. I feel like I am at the blooming stage. And each amazing interaction I have unfolds another petal.
When I mention Tinder people get all hoity-toity. “Why are you on there?” “You know it’s just guys looking to fuck, right?” “Ewww, that app is gross.” And like.. sure, full disclosure, I have slept with two guys from Tinder, one well after a year of us being friends, and the other as part of a relationship of sorts, neither were rando hook-ups, but even if they had been.. whatever. I think it is like much of life. It is what you make of it.
For some people it is a hook up app. Good for that, good for them, get that booty, y’all. For some people it’s a means to feed an ego, or to boost confidence, or to distract them or.. I don’t know. If you’re using a hammer you could be hanging up a picture, or murdering someone, the tool is the same in either scenario. So, I guess I want to start looking at the other tools I have and making sure I’m using them to help me bloom as well, and I so strongly encourage you to do that too.