I mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically crashed and burned a few days ago. And not even like a pretty bonfire in the fall that is crisp and lovely with apple cider burn but like a fucking tire fire giving off noxious fumes burn. So.. I took time off. GASP! I.Never.Take.Time.Off.Ever. Seriously. I don’t. And when you don’t, you experience this thing that is all over my feeds everywhere called BURN OUT dun dun dun
I spent most of Friday in bed. Naps fix a lot of things, of this I am convinced. Sometimes you just need to stop. Which I hate doing. I am an on the go person. I feel like time stopped is time wasted and that really bothers me. But, I did nothing on Friday. I did a bit on Saturday. A bit on Sunday. I didn’t kill myself with busy-ness, or social obligations or.. I just kinda chilled. And it was helpful and needed and nice.
What’s any of this have to do with Eve 6, you may be wondering right about now. So, as much as we like to talk about moving forward, making progress… holy crap guys, it is so nice sometimes to…not revert or regress but to reminiscence. I was mostly over my fabulous crashing and burning by Sunday evening but I’ll tell you what fully healed my crazy ass up – listening to Eve 6 in my car this morning. There was traffic, bad traffic. And a part of me was like… if I hadn’t taken a little extra time to restore myself this weekend, my drive into work today would have been just another thing, another sigh, another hassle, another annoyance. But, since I was chill, my 50 minute commute (that normally takes 30) was an opportunity to sing and dance and embrace things from the past, the delight in how many words I remembered, the pleasure in re-experiencing these genuinely good songs that I hadn’t heard for many, many years, thinking, you know what, maybe I can karaoke “One Week” by the Barenaked Ladies…
And, I listened to some of Eve 6’s newer music (keep in mind it is still like.. 6 plus years old, but I had never explored it so, new to me!) so I think there is something here about again, not reverting, at all, but in stopping, breathing, hugging nostalgia and seeing where that leads. I like to be very free of my past, but you never really are, and I felt like I folded it in this morning – you know like when you’re baking and some things get beat in with the mixer, full speed, to really incorporate that shit, but other things you take your spatula and you gently fold it is, getting it all up in your mix, without disturbing what’s already going on… that’s my goal with my past from now on, folding it in gently with a spatula.
Merry Monday, y’all.